<<Amy>>
The trick, Amy decided as she focused on her toes, was to pick one animal and think of it in as much detail as she could. An owl, that must be the sort of magic hidden inside of her. If the Invoker wouldn’t wake the magic himself, she would figure out how. All she had to do was focus.
Amy closed her eyes to facilitate her concentration, and willed her feet to form birdlike claws. She imagined her toes changing into sharp black talons, her soft pink flesh turning hard and black. Her feet started to itch, and then to tingle, but when her eyes flew open her body still looked the same. She’d chosen the wrong animal, Amy told herself. She wasn’t indelfy, just not very good at figuring out what she could transform herself into.
She reached down to pull her boots off—just in case they were covering a feather or some other sign of stunted magic—and screamed when a real indel in the sleek form of a rat jumped onto her hands.
“Rat!” she yelled, her voice somewhere between a growl and a whine. “Don’t sneak up on me like that. You know I don’t like it.”
The rat squeaked in what sounded an awful lot like laughter, and then the rat shifted into a dark-skinned boy. “You should have seen your face,” he said. “Were you dreaming about magic again?”
She slumped deeper into her chair, trying to get comfortable despite the lack of stuffing in its duck feather cushion. “No,” she muttered, and flushed when Rat raised an eyebrow at her. “I’m not an indelfy.”
He pointed at the curving X just visible on her shoulder. “That sure looks like an indelfy tattoo to me,” he said. He giggled, smiling wide to show pearly white teeth in sharp contrast with his lips. “Don’t scowl like that. Invokers don’t mark people wrong. Face it, you don’t have a scrap of magic in you.”
It wasn’t true. Marking her with the indelfy tattoo was exactly the sort of mean, inconsiderate, selfish thing Bernard would do. She didn’t bother arguing with Rat however. He possessed an indel tattoo, six fine lines representing whiskers inconspicuously tucked on his wrist, telling all the world how Bernard favored him with magic, just as the cruel X on her shoulder told them he’d shut her out.
“I don’t believe you,” she said, giving the table leg in front of her a vicious kick.
Rat gave her a sympathetic pat. “It might be a good thing you don’t have magic. You’re clever enough at snooping into other people’s business as it is. Imagine if you had a shape like mine.” He got out a coin and twirled it. “You’d be stealing Lady Heron’s books yourself instead of telling me who’s the one doing it.”
“I—What?” She couldn’t think when there was money right there in front of her. “I can’t read. Why would I know anything about books?”
To avoid looking at the coin, Amy studied her fingers. Long and feathery, she imagined, but they stayed the same. Maybe she was a tiger, and Bernard didn’t invoke her for fear she’d rup his head off.
Rat handed her the coin he’d been twirling. It fell into her palm, shiny and silver, the engraving of the Duke’s tattoo reflecting in the light. She slid it into her pocket with an affectionate pat, and focused on Rat’s question with new vigor.
“I have such a poor memory. Books you said? Now that you mention it, I do remember hearing something about books. Yes, it was Noisy Ness herself who told me that The Wolf was active again. She’s been peddling a lot of reading material. Pretty covers. Expensive looking.”
Of course she didn’t know if all of them were pretty, but the one she’d caught a glimpse of was beautiful; rich red leather with a sketch of a dragon-indel shape-shifting from one form to the other. She almost bought it for the pictures alone, but the price was four gold coins, and she hadn’t seen so much as a copper that week.
“The Wolf you say,” Rat encouraged.
“Yes, you won’t find her at the Wolf Trap though, so don’t bother. She’s around town right now. I can’t quite recall where she’s staying at. Hmm.” She ran a hand through her hair, doing her best to look puzzled.
Rat passed her another coin.
“Oh yes!” Amy said, snapping her fingers, “I remember now. She’s staying with a friend. Some lion-indel. Leo is it? Yes, his name is Leo.”
“And where would we find this Leo?”
“All these questions! I can’t be expected to remember everything.”
“Amy,” Rat whined. “I’m running out of coins.”
She doubted that, but it wasn’t wise to press an indel. “Talk then. You want to know where The Wolf’s hideout is, I want to know any new, exciting, preferably salable details about what’s happening on the other side of the gate.”
Rat grinned, that mischievous smile reserved for boys of troublemaking age. “Well,” he said, stretching out the word, “I thought it’d be more fun to let you go up and find him in your room yourself, but since you asked, the Invoker is visiting Shadowfy.”
The Wolf, her location, and everything else flooded from her mind. “Oh,” was the best she could manage.
“Ness gave your room to him,” Rat whispered. “He’s been ransacking it.”
Which meant Rat had been watching, and done nothing to stop him. Beast. She peeked at the bar to see where Ness was, and scowled as she saw her busily rolling out a bedroll beside the busiest section of the bar. Fabulous. Amy tried not to picture late night drunks spilling drinks on her while she tried to sleep, and waved to catch Ness’ attention.
Ness stood up, her curly white gold hair bouncing as she flipped it over her head and glared triumphantly in Amy’s direction. Amy made an obscene gesture, and then rushed for the stairs before Ness could do anything to stop her.
The steps groaned and cracked underfoot, splinters of old gray wood catching in her shoes as she went up, but the door made no noise at all when she swung it open. Inside she found her long time enemy, up to his elbows in no good. Everything was out of order on her favorite set of shelves, and some things were even on the floor. It looked as if a complete amateur had looted her, and the fact that Rat thought she needed told was embarrassing.
Did you want a word with me, Invoker?”
Bernard dropped the tiny puzzle box he’d almost finished opening and turned so fast the expensive maroon robes he wore flared out, knocking her leather washbowl off its stand. He cleared his throat. “As it happens, I do.” He gestured towards what was once her room. “In private?”
“Of course,” she said, stooping to pick the box up as she passed him.
She kicked a fancy leather carry-all aside, taking satisfaction in the delicate crunch of something inside breaking, then bent to retrieve her lock picks from underneath it. Most of them were in good shape, except her favorite tension wrench which looked bent. She placed it on her shelf, and crouched to pick up the rest.
“What ever it is, the answer is no.”
Bernard glanced out the door before he shut it tight. “Don’t you at least want to know what brought me out here?”
He’d found the basket of handkerchiefs she kept indel-repellent in, but had not investigated past the first over-perfumed layer. She sent a silent prayer of thanks to the protection gods and pushed the container aside as if it were unimportant.
“No,” she lied.
The storage space hidden in the back of the shelves, where she kept her skeleton keys and a handful of blackmail items better left unseen, looked untouched. Rat would get them out later, she didn’t dare check on them now.
Bernard moved to the window, scanning the world outside as if the crisp autumn frost would save him from answering for his deeds. “I had to make sure you weren’t already compromised. If they’d gotten here first all would be lost.”
Amy rolled her eyes and examined her desk for signs of intrusion. He’d already put some of his own things out. Paper, pen and inkwell crowded the surface she kept clear for making batches of Tongue-Loose Tea. She picked up the paper, and eyed the furnace pipes carrying up warmth from downstairs. It would serve him right if his work, no doubt filled with a dramatic account of his arrival, “disappeared”.
Bernard turned from the window and saw her with paper in hand. He jerked his head toward the door, and then pointed from it to the topmost sheet of paper.
She glanced down, expecting to see indecipherable words, and frowned at the simple drawing she found in its place. Bernard had sketched the tattoo of an indel-wildcat in bold brush strokes. It was a symbol Amy was familiar with on many levels. It belonged to her most savage opponent in the information trade.
She met Bernard’s gaze, and saw his nod of conformation. He was being followed.
Indel – A person with magic, usually a shapeshifter, whose magic has been made usable by an Invoker.
Indelfy – A person with no magical abilities.
Thank you Rebecca, Miss Bluestocking, J.A.G. Fehr, Eden Tyler, The Leaves of Tarkong, Bliss, Tina Reynolds, Crzy4jpspeed, Theasley, DazedLittleMiss, William and Valkyrie1008 for your comments!
The author of this website is a semi-professional short story author who chooses to remain anonymous for the writing of this novel. Her publications include 4 short stories and one honorable mention in a flash fiction contest.
Ok, I’m waiting for the next bit. What’s Bernard up to? Where does this Duke fit in? What’s an invoker?
Thank you for commenting Mary! Eberhard (the country in which this story takes place) has a very unique and somewhat complicated magical system. Indelfy, as mentioned in the footnotes, are people who had no magic found in them. An indel is a shapeshifter who has had his or her magic activated. Magic can’t be used until it is activated, and a person with that ability is called an Invoker.
I will see about making that more clear in future drafts. I would really hate to overwhelm people in the first chapter, but perhaps in the next chapter or two I can slip it in.
Thanks so much for taking the time to comment. If you leave a link, I can add it to the bottom of my post as a kind of thank you for stopping by.
Wheres chapter 2 and 3 and 3 and 5 ?!!!
I’m working on it
Well, well, well, just what I needed! this is taking it to another level, now my senses have taken over and I want to know, I need to know. Great work. It is interesting the build up and from Brenard’s point of view, that was unexpected but an easy transition.
PS I hope you don’t mind, but i mentioned you in today’s post.
Yo. I figured it’s about time I dropped a comment.
These first two little chaps were a good move–hope you keep ‘em in future revisions. They feel a little like a split prologue. I will mention, tho, that I strongly recommend you delete that little thing at the top about whose perspective each chap is from. It’s unnecessary b/c readers can figure that out as they get into the chap. And besides, it’d look weird if it ended up on a printed book.
Oh, and nice new site. I’m still trying to figure out why the other turned banana smoothie, though… Sorry I didn’t manage to make a banner for you. But I don’t really regret it, b/c the “indel only” one you’ve got here is really awesome. I love it. =3
Cheers!
Uninvoked Author’s Reply:It turned banana smoothie because my boyfriend decided to play “lets redecorate” on my blog. >_> Thanks so much for your comments. I received the revisions you sent via email and will be making some changes from them. I really liked your suggestion for making Chapter 2’s Noisy Ness more Informant like. I completely missed that on my first edit.
I’m glad you like the artwork. I’m doing it all myself and frankly writing is definitely my talent, not art.
I’m going to keep little chapters all the way through because it is easier on the eyes, better for the blog, and all those little “.5″ marks were starting to annoy me. If/when it becomes a real book I will keep these ones little though, seeing as you like them and you always have such good taste. ^^
Thanks so much for stopping by, I love it when you comment!
Wow, this is an awesome idea, to be posting your chapters up here. I also enjoyed this chapter and will now go on to read some more.
Uninvoked Author’s Reply: w00t! Great to have you visiting Miss Bluestocking! ^^ I’m loving your discussion about Historical Romance right now. I check the post three times a day to see if there’s something new going on.
I’m glad you enjoyed the first chapter. Posting this up has been lots of fun, and I hope to learn a lot from it.
I’ve listed you on my blogroll if you don’t mind. That way I can check up on your updates more often. How often do you update your work anyway?
Ah, your input to the discussion has made it all the more interesting!
Uninvoked Author’s Reply: I’m flattered, actually. You picked a great topic and I was strongly motivated to reply. I actually had to edit my response so it would fit. A lot of my little side points had to go.
I’m glad you’re enjoying the story so far. It’s so nice to hear some feedback on what people think. Sometimes its hard to step away from the story long enough to see if you have the gem you think you’ve polished, or if you accidentally picked up a piece of glass by mistake.
Thanks for stopping by. ^^ I’ll see you around, either on your blog or mine!
I like this theme you’re using very much! It looks so professional. Also, it suits this “noveling” idea of yours.
May I ask what inspired you to write this story?
Uninvoked Author’s Reply That’s kind of a complicated question. I didn’t have the plotline to begin with, I had the setting. Eberhard (the country in which this took place) was a country I invented as a child, roleplayed with friends, and acted out stories in. I went from there to developing the characters, and the characters invented the plot. It’s by far the most complicated thing I’ve ever done, so I hope it pulls off.
Yoicks! Peril! Will the Duke survive to live another week? Tune in next week… oh sorry, got ahead of myself.
As you can see, you seem to have hooked a bit more.
Uninvoked Author’s Reply: w00t! Intro got you to ‘turn the page’ so to speak didn’t it? My goal at the end of every chapter is to have you thinking, “Just one more chapter…then I’ll stop.”
As you’ve commented on a couple of my things already, I feel horrible that I’ve taken so long to get to this.
A nice, short, first chapter to get the reader interested.
I shall have to read the next chapter tomorrow (although that’s in two minutes! ahhh, I should go to bed)
Good stuff, I’ll be back.
-Eden*
Uninvoked Author’s Reply: All of my chapters are short, since it is a lot more difficult to read on a computer monitor than it is to read a book. My goodness, go get some sleep! Uninvoked isn’t going anywhere
same here. i’m through with the first chapter, cravin for the next, though – but i have to go back to parenting now. then, i’ll see u again in a while
Uninvoked Author’s Reply: Parenting is very important. Feel free to come back any time!
this is really cool
what a fun ride to hop on!
thanks for stopping by…
Cheers!
Uninvoked Author’s Reply: Any time. I love your blog!
hooked I am off to read chapter 2
Uninvoked Author’s Reply: Woohoo! Glad you’re hooked. I’m in the process of editing these now that I’ve gotten the Breakout Novel book by Donald Maass. ^^ Hopefully they’ll all be perfect by the time you get there.
Intriguing, this will be a wonderful break from the constant classical literature I have pounded into my head at school!
Uninvoked Author’s Reply: I’m afraid out of the 10,000 or so books I’ve read…classics number less than 100. I refused to read Shakespeare until my sneaky mother bought them in graphic comic format. I never thought Emma was intruiging, and the ones that I did like (The Good Earth, A Christmas Carol, The Invisible Man) I had to write reports on anyway.
Hang in there. Not all books are boring, even the ones stuffed down your throat.
I love how you say so much in so few words. Your post is just long enough to read and with such an immediately involving plot that I am drawn in.
Uninvoked Author’s Reply: I’m glad it works for you. It’s a constant challenge to put enough words in and not confuse my readers. Making the switch from short story writing has been hard.
HELLO! Oh my Goodness! I REMEMBER YOU! I LOVED Your writing and started Your book but life has been L-I-F-E of late and I never made it back to read more! My apologies. I have to get my batoooty over here and read someday soon. A few more ducks to get in a row. But I LOVE the illustrations….don’t remember those. And congrats on all You’ve written! SO cool!!! Thank You for stopping by my place and Cheers and Namaste.
Uninvoked Author’s Reply: Bliss! I remember you too! I’m so glad you remembered me and stopped by, even if a little time has elapsed. I encourage you to try subscribing to Uninvoked so you get a reminder when we update.
Wow…Excellent work. On to the next chapter!
Reply from Uninvoked Author: Thank you. I hope you enjoy the rest of the chapters just as much!
hello friend firstly THANK YOU for visiting my blog and your comments are deeply appreciated..naturally when you are reading a story u must start at the beginning, I will read a chapter a day till im caught up, loved the imagery in this chapter definitely a winner here, well done and be proud, the graphics compliment the story amazingly..
Reply from Uninvoked Author: That’s a relief to hear. I’m a little sensitive about the artwork since I did it myself and frankly, sketching is not my forte. I see it in my head, but translating it into a visual format doesn’t always come out the way I intend.
Intriguing is the word I would use to sum up this first chapter which makes it an excellent start. Chapters should always be treated as mini soap opera episodes with a cliff hanger at each end and tidbits of back-story being fed by the characters not through them so the reader is led on a curiosity trail down the chapters in order to learn why someone’s acting strange, why she’s in love with him when he’s in love with someone else etc.
I will definitely devote some time to keeping up with Amy’s magical antics. Well done.
Reply from Uninvoked Author: One thing I like about your story is how good you are at giving us hints as to the background of your story without drowning us in endless pages of actual back-story. Donald Maass suggested that in the rough draft you go ahead and write that info-dumping back-story, but during the rewrite place it around chapter 15 instead. I’ve tried that, and it works really well.UN:F [1.8.1_1037]
please wait...
Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
UN:F [1.8.1_1037]
Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
Thanks for visiting my blog! I really enjoyed the first chapter and will bookmark your site so I can catch up over the next few days.